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Having Conversations with Someone Who Is Having Driving

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Having Conversations with Someone Who Is
Having Driving Problems
[1]
AARP Smart Driver
If you have noticed that a friend or family member shows some of the warning
signs of unsafe driving, it means it is time to talk with them. Discussions about
driving issues can be difficult and emotional. The conversations may need to be
conducted in a sensitive and thoughtful manner.
It is useful to think of these discussions in three parts.
First,
how do you approach
the conversations?
Second,
what kinds of topics or information should you
discuss?
Third,
who is the best person to have the conversation with the driver?
How To Approach the Conversations
Consider the meaning of driving and
its significance to the driver.
For
many, driving is more than just a
mode of transportation; it is
symbolic of his or her identity,
freedom, or independence.
Do not just have
one
conversation.
Have several conversations over a
period of time. Be persistent and do
not feel guilty about mentioning the
topic multiple times.
Before having the conversations, be
sure you have observed the driver
over time
. Write down the abilities
the driver still possesses.
To begin the conversations, first
pick someone in the family or
community whom the driver knows
and trusts.
This is usually a spouse,
an adult child, or the family doctor.
Ask the driver if a doctor has
reviewed a medical condition or
medications to determine if they
have any effects on his or her
driving.
Ask for the help of someone who has
recently stopped driving and has
found other ways to get around.
You
may need to ask a friend if he or she
knows such a person.
Have conversations before driving
becomes a problem.
If you are concerned about a loved one’s driving and need
additional resources to help you plan these conversations,
visit www.aarp.org/weneedtotalk
.
Having Conversations with Someone Who Is
Having Driving Problems
[2]
AARP Smart Driver
What You Could Tell Someone Who Has Driving Problems
Start conversations with your
concern for the person’s overall
well-being and use “I” rather than
“you” messages: “I’m concerned
about your safety while driving
since your surgery … is there
anything I can do to help until you
are feeling better?” It is not good
to say “You’re no longer a safe
driver.”
Explain the availability of other
transportation methods such as
family, friends, neighbors, taxis,
public and other transportation
services, as well as their benefits
(safer, less expensive and less
trouble than maintaining a car).
Try to let the person preserve his
or her self-respect. Listen
honestly to the person’s viewpoint
and reasoning and always show
compassion.
Ask the person to consider having
a formal assessment done by an
occupational therapist, who is
also a trained driver rehabilitation
specialist.
Be supportive of any changes the
driver has already made, such as
reducing the number of trips he or
she makes or limiting night
driving.
If a person with serious driving deficiencies does not respond to any of these efforts,
you may have to report the person to the state’s department of motor vehicles as a last
resort. Not all states maintain the confidentiality of those reporting. If it is important to
you that your report remains confidential, first check with your state’s motor vehicle
department or bureau for details.
Select your state on the on-line map to see if there is any state-specific information for
your state. You can use this section to make note of what you find for your state.
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Completed 11 February 2022

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