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VITA Coaching T3 FSM1 Creating A New Sexual Story Self-Practice

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TRIMESTER 3 l FEMALE SEXUALITY 1
Creating a New
Sexual Story
Self-Practice
VITA Coaching Trimester 3, Female Sexuality 1 2
Creating a New Sexual Story
1. Write about three paragraphs of your current sexual story. You can focus
on what’s working, but make sure to include areas where you would like to
heal, grow, integrate and/or thrive. Think about themes like pleasure,
confidence, orgasm, relationship, health, desire, fulfillment, surrender,
acceptance, sexiness, safety, trauma, etc.
Example: In my life right now, I still repress my pleasure. I grew up Catholic and I still
believe on some level that I don’t deserve pleasure and that pleasure is wrong. I also feel
guilty that I don’t feel enough pleasure with my partner, so I stress out all the time that I
won’t have an orgasm. Because of the stress I never feel like having sex and so we are
currently going through a very hard time in our sex life and my partner feels very unloved.
Copyright 2020, Truth and Love Coaching, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
VITA Coaching Trimester 3, Female Sexuality 1 3
2. Identify a sexual key from your story above. The key is an element from
the story that feels like it is having a big impact on your struggle or issue
(or even where you would like to thrive more.) Look for a key where, if you
changed your story about the key, it could have a strong impact on your
whole sexual experience.
Examples of keys are: sex, pleasure, orgasm, body, being in a relationship, being single,
marriage, surrender, gender roles or identities, femininity, sexual preferences or choices,
desire, wildness, control, power, virginity, innocence, aging, body, cheating.
3. Write down your current story about that key. What beliefs/emotions/
experiences are you associating with that key?
Example: I believe still, on some level, that I am unworthy of pleasure and don’t deserve it.
I feel guilty about having pleasure and guilty that I don’t feel enough pleasure. I feel like
pleasure is a sin. I can’t believe I just wrote that, but I guess it’s still true. I also believe
that I should be feeling more pleasure than I am currently.
Copyright 2020, Truth and Love Coaching, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
VITA Coaching Trimester 3, Female Sexuality 1 4
4. What are different messages you received about that key growing up?
Consider your most influential sources and write out what messages they
gave you about the key.
Examples of sources include: parents and/or people who raised you, society, religion,
early partners, friends, peers, school, education, current partner, siblings, doctor or
medical authority, etc…
Influential Source
What messages/beliefs did I receive
about the key from this source?
The Catholic Church
That pleasure is a sin. That I’ll go to hell for
experiencing pleasure. That I’m bad for
feeling pleasure.
My mom
Not to ever talk about pleasure. That good
girls wait until marriage so good girls don’t
feel pleasure. That pleasure isn’t important.
Women’s magazines
That pleasure is so important and I deserve
it and I should be feeling it all the time if I
just follow these easy ten steps
blaaaaaahhhh.
Copyright 2020, Truth and Love Coaching, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
VITA Coaching Trimester 3, Female Sexuality 1 5
5. What impact is your current story of the key having on your sexuality
and/or life?
Example: My story about pleasure is basically ruining my relationship. My partner feels
unwanted and unloved and I feel broken.
6. Write out your new story for this key. What belief systems/emotions/
truth do you want for this key?
Example: Pleasure is holy and sacred. I was created by nature to feel as much pleasure as
possible. Pleasure is my birthright. I deserve pleasure, but I don’t have to feel pleasure.
There is nothing wrong with me if I don’t feel pleasure.
7. Record your story above and listen to it at least 5 times this week!
Copyright 2020, Truth and Love Coaching, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
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Completed 6 April 2022

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