Adjusting the Rules
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Use this worksheet in conjunction with the information sheet Adjusting Rules and
Assumptions to challenge some of the unhelpful rules and assumptions which
maintain your low self-esteem.
Rule and/or assumption I would like to adjust:
What impact has this rule (and/or assumption) had on my life?
Has it affected my relationships, work or studies, how I
take care of myself or engage in social or leisure activities? How do I respond when things don’t go well? How do I respond
to challenging situations or new opportunities? How do I express my emotions? Am I able to ask for my needs to be met?
How do I know this rule is in operation?
How do I feel? What are the things I do and say, to myrself or others when
this rule is activated?
Where did this rule (and/or assumption) come from?
Unhelpful rules and assumptions might have made sense at the
time when you were experiencing a difficult situation and you adopted them so that you could cope and function from day
to day. But ask yourself, “Is this rule still necessary today? Is it useful?”
In what ways is this rule (and/or assumption) unreasonable?
Advantages of this Rule.
What benefits have I obtained?
How have these rules/assumptions been helpful? What do
they protect me from?
Disadvantages of this Rule.
Does it limit my opportunities,
prevent me from experiencing fun and pleasure, downplay
my achievements , negatively impact on my relationships, or
prevent me from achieving my life goal?
What is an alternative rule (and/or assumption) that is more balanced and flexible?
Consider using less extreme terms
such as “sometimes,” “some people,” “prefer,” “would like,” “it would be nice if,” compared with “must” and “should.”
What can I do to put this rule (and/or assumption) into practice on a daily basis?
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