Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet
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Think of a stressful situation with someone—for example, an argument. As you meditate on that specific
time and place and begin to feel what that felt like, fill in the blanks below. Use short, simple sentences.
1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, hurts, saddens, or disappoints you, and why?
I am with because
emotion name
I am angry with Paul because he lied to me.
WANTS 2. In this situation, how do you want him/her to change? What do you want him/her to do?
I want to
name
I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me.
ADVICE 3. In this situation, what advice would you offer him/her? “He/she should/shouldn’t…”
should/shouldn’t
name
Paul shouldn’t frighten me with his behavior. He should take a deep breath.
NEEDS 4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need him/her to think, say, feel, or do?
I need to
name
I need Paul to stop talking over me. I need him to really listen to me.
COMPLAINTS 5. What do you think of him/her in this situation? Make a list. (It’s okay to be petty and judgmental.)
is
name
Paul is a liar, arrogant, loud, dishonest, and unconscious.
6. What is it about this person and situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?
I don’t ever want.
I don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again. I don’t ever want to be disrespected again.
Now question each of your statements, using the four questions of The Work, below. For the turnaround
to statement 6, replace the words I don’t ever want… with I am willing to… and I look forward to…
The four questions
Example: Paul lied to me.
1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who or what would you be without the thought?
Turn the thought around.
I lied to me.
I lied to Paul.
Paul didn’t lie to me.
Paul told me the truth.
As you visualize the situation, contemplate
how each turnaround is as true or truer.
