Being a good
role model
My son has started showing aggressive
behaviour towards me. He has agreed it has to stop
and we are getting help.
Violence can affect families in serious and
long-lasting ways.
Domestic violence may teach them to use
violence.
Childr
en will often blame themselves for
domestic violence.
When violence occurs in families, alcohol
or drug misuse is often a cause.
Domestic violence towards parents is often
kept quiet. It is just as wrong.
Get help early to stop things getting worse.
Domestic violence is a crime and a
major social problem affecting many
families. Those who see, get involved
or hear violence are affected in many
ways. What is certain is that family
members do hear, they do see and they
are aware of violence at home. As they
get older your child may feel they have
to protect their parent and may become
physically involved.
Short-term effects
Children are affected in many ways
by violence, even after a short time.
These can include feeling frightened,
becoming shy and quiet, running
away, violence, behaving badly,
problems with school, poor
concentration and emotional upset.
Long-term effects
The longer they are around violence,
the worse the effects are on them.
These can include a lack of respect
for the non-violent parent, loss of
confidence, which will affect how they
form relationships in the future, being
over-protective of a parent, problems
with their education and running away.
If you are worried about domestic
violence, discuss it with someone else
you trust or contact the Domestic
Violence Helpline. If you are violent
and have children, you can seek help
to stop what is happening.
Domestic violence against parents
Children will learn how to act from
what they see their parents do. They
may feel they can do this because they
have seen a parent act in this way and
get away with it because nothing has
been done to stop such behaviour in
the past. They may not feel that there
are ways of dealing with problems
other than through violence. The
influence of friends (peer pressure),
alcohol and drugs can all play a part in
the way they react to situations. Stress
in other areas of their lives - their
education, or with friends may be
affecting them and leading them to hit
out at you. Try to work out what may
be causing the violence and learn to
recognise the warning signs. It is just
as unacceptable and must stop now.
Domestic violence
”
“
Any violence between adults will
affect children badly. Get
support and help as soon as
possible. The longer it lasts the
more damaging violence is.
Report your concerns about
yourself or someone else to the
police. If you are worried that your
child might be affected, talk to
them about what is happening.
Spend time together talking
through worries they have.
Children need time to talk about
the feelings they have about
violence. Children need to know
that it is not their fault and that
this is not the way it should be.
A violent partner must seek help
to stop their actions. Make sure
that you offer a good role model
for children so that they learn
better ways of acting.
• Brent Children and Families
Information Service (CFIS) on
020 8937 3001
www.brent.gov.uk/parenting
WARNING
SIGNS
ACTION
WHATTOSAY
PREVENTION
CONTACTS
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