A vision statement can be something like, “I feel relaxed and easygoing.
I feel safe in my body. I open my arms and fearlessly welcome whatever unfolds.
Answer this question and free-write your response:
How do you want to feel and what would that look like?
Your Vision Statement
(Don’t think, just let your pen ow, capturing all the feelings you want to experience.)
Give yourself permission to believe in a new vision,
even if you can’t see how you’ll get there.
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STEP 1: In the chart below, write down the things that trigger you (or bring up feelings of
discomfort). I lled in an example from my own life.
STEP 2: After listing your triggers in column one, write how each trigger makes you feel in column two.
STEP 3: Now move on to column three and record how you respond to your triggers and feelings.
Identifying Your Triggers
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Trigger Feeling How I run from the feeling
When someone tells
me to shush.
I feel silently outraged and
act defensive.
I push back on the other person, trying to gure out why
they would shut me down.
Note that there is great freedom in this process, even if you can’t complete every box.
Don’t judge your process as you work through this exercise.
Establishing a sense of safety and relief begins by interrupting the fear response.
The moment you enter into a reactive state, pause or take a time-out, then ask your
protector part these three questions:
Interrupting the Fear Response
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NOTICE:
What do I notice about this part of me? Where does it live in my body?
KNOW:
What do I know about this part?
Does it have an age, a gender, what do I know about it?
NEED:
What does this part of me need?
The rst step to healing the body is to shine light on the mind-body connection.
Hiding Behind the Body
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Take note of the ways your body responds to stress,
fear and overwhelming emotions.
Now consider the ways your thoughts and emotional condition may affect your physical
condition. When you’re really stressed, do your symptoms increase? Or when you
experience one of the triggers we outlined in Exercise 2, do you notice your symptoms
are up? Write your observations in the space below.
The next time you notice that back pain or migraine or stomach
are-up, ask yourself, “What am I thinking?” or,
What emotion is behind this right now?
This simple inquiry will help you track your own
mind-body connection.
Looking at Your Relationship to Shame
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In the space below, identify which of the ve shame responses—attacking others, attacking
yourself, denying, fawning or withdrawing—you most commonly use.
Since you’ve already identied your triggers and their underlying emotions, this exercise is about
looking more closely at which of those emotions are disguising shame, such as fear of rejection,
feeling unsafe, or feeling unworthy, unlovable or inadequate. Your willingness to recognize the
patterns and be inquisitive about shame is an act of self-respect. You cannot heal what you’re
unwilling to see.
Next, rate the intensity of your shame on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being the most distressing.
After completing a round of EFT tapping, rate the intensity of your shame.
This inquiry is a spiritual conversation between your inner child parts and your adult resourced
Self. Each time you connect to and care for your child parts, you strengthen your relationship
with the inner wisdom of your resourced Self. Commit to this connection and/or build resilience
by asking yourself the following questions.
Reparenting Yourself
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What do I need to feel safe right now?
What do I need to feel seen right now?
What do I need to feel soothed right now?
What do I need to feel secure right now?
After you answer each question, pause and allow your adult resourced Self to speak.
Trust the inner guidance you receive.