Revised 1/2018; © MGH
WHAT is the focus of the conversation (the problem to be solved not the challenging behavior!)?
WHO is going to have the conversation? ______________________________________
WHEN, WHERE and WHILE DOING WHAT are you going to have the conversation?
INGREDIENT # 1: EMPATHIZE
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO START THE CONVERSATION AND FRAME THE PROBLEM? Be specific about the
problem but don’t focus on the behavior, assume or blame.
Stick to the facts or externalize the problem.
Examples: “I’ve noticed that…” “…waking
up has been tough lately,”
“…something’s been up with the homework,”
“…something about group hasn’t been working for you lately,”
“…something about the food we have in the house seems to be bothering you,” “…something
about seated work has been tough,”
Finish by asking, “Can you fill me in?” or “What’s going on?
Write down opening statement here and on Plan B Cheat-Sheet:
(NOTE: Complete next section ONLY if you anticipate the youth having difficulty expressing his/her
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE CHILD’S CONCERNS MIGHT BE? What types of clarifying questions
might you ask / educated guesses might you make if needed?
INGREDIENT #2: SHARE ADULT CONCERN
WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THE PROBLEM UP?
larify your concerns ahead of time. Be specific and concise! Health, safety, learning, impact on
others? Write down how exactly you will communicate them to the youth here and on Plan B Cheat