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One on One Conversation Starters

Match Me with

D1 Needs What to Say to Get an S1 Match My Notes

Purpose of the meeting

clariﬁed

What I’d like to talk to you about is (add topics).

Transferable skills

acknowledged

I’ll be able to use my skills of … (list skills) to accomplish this

goal ….

Enthusiasm and

initiative acknowledged

I’m really excited to get started on ….

SMART goals

I would beneﬁt from knowing exactly what my goal is.

What does a good job look like?

What is a reasonable time frame for completing this goal?

Style 1 agreement

(development level

and leadership style)

I want to remind you that I have never done this exact goal

before and will need direction in order to be successful. Do you

agree?

Knowledge of how

performance will be

tracked

How will we stay in touch on this goal or task?

Will you or will someone else review my performance?

When would you like an update?

Priorities

What is the priority of this goal or task?

Role clarity

Can we take a minute to get really clear on each of our roles?

What am I speciﬁcally responsible for?

Boundaries

Which decisions can I make on my own?

When should I check in with you?

Learning plan

Who can teach me how to do this?

What should I study, read, or review?

Can you tell me what I should do ﬁrst and what the next

steps are?

What should I have done, when?

Direction on how;

examples

What direction or advice do you have for me?

Do you have examples?

What should I be careful of?

Access to information/

resources

What information do you have that will be helpful to me?

Who might be a good role model, mentor, or teacher?

Solutions to problems

What are my next steps?

Opportunities to

practice

What should I work on now?

What should I try to do before we get together again?

Feedback

How am I doing?

What should I be doing diﬀerently?

Check for understanding

and alignment

Let me recap the direction you’ve given me so I know we’re

aligned ….

Follow through

When will we meet again?

CONNECTRECONNECT LEARN ALIGN

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One on One Conversation Starters

Match Me with

D2 Needs What to Say to Get an S2 Match My Notes

Purpose of the meeting

clariﬁed

What I’d like to talk about is ….

Opportunities to share

concerns

I am concerned about my lack of progress on this goal.

Things are not going as I expected.

I have some concerns about (express concerns) … and would

like to talk to you about them.

I’m a bit discouraged and would like to work with you on ….

SMART goals clariﬁed

Let’s reconﬁrm my goal. What do you need me to accomplish?

Let’s talk about your expectations for me and where I need your

time/help.

Style 2 agreement

(development level

and leadership style)

Since I’m still learning how to do this goal or task, I’d like to

share my ideas, but I also need some direction from you.

Perspective

I need perspective.

I need to know how you feel about the progress I am making.

“Why” about “what and

how”

I need to understand why this goal is important to the

organization ….

Can you help me understand why this is the best approach?

Involvement in problem

solving

I’m stuck. What do you think I should do next?

I have some ideas, but what would your advice be?

What options do I have?

How else could I look at this?

What else should I be considering and why?

Coaching

Can you show me how?

What information or resources do you have that would be

helpful to me?

Do you have any examples?

Who might be a good role model, coach, or teacher?

Feedback

What feedback do you have?

What have you observed or heard?

Reassurance and

support

Am I doing anything right?

Is it always this diﬃcult?

Check for understanding

and alignment

So, let me recap what we’ve decided to be sure I have

everything right ….

I want to be sure of my next steps, which are ….

Follow through

How will we stay in touch on this goal?

When would you like an update?

When will we meet again?

CONNECTRECONNECT RELEARN ALIGN

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One on One Conversation Starters

Match Me with

D3 Needs What to Say to Get an S3 Match My Notes

Purpose of the meeting

clariﬁed

I’d like to talk with you about my goal ….

I’d like to run some ideas past you ….

Opportunities to express

feelings and share

concerns

Here’s what I’m thinking ….

Here’s what I’m feeling ….

SMART goals conﬁrmed

Here’s what I’ve accomplished ….

Are we aligned?

Am I on target?

Style 3 agreement

(development level

and leadership style)

I need you to be a sounding board so I can feel more conﬁdent

(about my competence) or more motivated (about this goal).

Good questions/

objectivity so I solve my

own problems

Here’s what is working and what’s not working ….

The problem/challenge seems to be ….

The alternatives are (describe alternatives).

The pros and cons of each are ….

My recommendation is …. What do you think?

Have I missed anything?

What else should I be thinking about?

A vote of conﬁdence and

encouragement

I’d like some feedback on ….

What do you think I have done well?

Help and ideas, if I ask

There are some things getting in my way …. Could you help

me with them?

What other information or resources would help me do this

faster or better?

Reminders of past

successes

Can you remind me of why I should feel more conﬁdent?

Are there any speciﬁc examples of where or when you thought

I did a good job?

Acknowledgment

of competence and

contributions

How is what I’m doing making a diﬀerence?

Ways to make the

goal more interesting

and challenging (if

motivation is low)

Do you have any suggestions for increasing my motivation to

do this work?

Why is it important?

Is there any other way I could think about this goal to increase

my desire to do it?

Opportunities to

reconnect

I’ll let you know when I’d like to meet again.

CONNECTRECONNECT SUPPORT ALIGN—HEAR MY VOICE

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One on One Conversation Starters

Match Me with

D4 Needs What to Say to Get an S4 Match My Notes

Purpose of the meeting

clariﬁed

During this meeting, I’d like to share with you what I’ve been

working on ….

I’m excited about ….

SMART goals update

Here’s what I’ve accomplished on my goal ….

For me, what a stretch goal would look like is ….

Style 4 agreement

(development level

and leadership style)

I’m taking the lead on this, but how do you want to stay

informed?

Successes shared

Up to now, I have (share achievements).

Here’s the feedback I’ve gotten ….

Here’s why I think this is important ….

Opportunities to be

creative and innovative

As I was working on this goal, I had another idea ….

I have always wanted to ….

What would challenge me is ….

Autonomy

I’d like more autonomy to ….

The way I’d change this is ….

Growth

What I’d like to do is ….

Something I’d like to learn is ….

Opportunities to teach

or mentor others

Are there any opportunities for me to teach or mentor others?

Who needs help?

Additional resources if

requested

I could do even more if I had the following resources ….

Acknowledgment

of competence,

commitment, and

contribution

I’m interested in how you think I contribute most to the

organization ….

An opportunity to

reconnect

Here’s how I’d like to stay in touch (set up plan).

Follow through

When will I hear back from you on the commitments you’ve

made to me?

CONNECTRECONNECT INSPIRE ALIGN

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