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5

Essentials to

Understand &

Win at Divorce

INTRODUCTION

The goal of this ebook is to show

you what the divorce process

looks like, help you be informed

so you can make better decisions,

and have you feeling conﬁdent

and supported in the process.

At Hello Divorce, we’ve got all the

informative and helpful divorce

resources you need, along with

access to on-demand legal help.

We’re about moving you forward

in the most eﬃcient way possible.

Let’s do this.

HELLODIVORCE.COM

1

The truth is, unless you let go,

unless you forgive yourself, unless

you forgive the situation, unless you

realize that the situation is over,

you cannot move forward.

-Steve Maraboli

HELLODIVORCE.COM

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PRE-LEAVING CHECKLIST C

LICK HERE

With the mental and emotional overwhelm of deciding to divorce, it can be hard

to know where to start. This document contains a list of speciﬁc things to do and

documents to gather to protect your interests and be prepared for the

dissolution process.

10 TIPS FOR AN EASIER, LESS COSTLY DIVORCE PAGE 4

Costs are one of the biggest divorce concerns. Review these tips to ﬁnd out how

you can save.

HELLO DIVORCE FLOW CHART PAGE 7

Feeling lost in the complicated divorce process is a stress you don’t need. This

ﬂow chart gives you an easy to understand overview of each step that will be

taken by you, your spouse, and Hello Divorce to complete your divorce.

DIVORCE WORKSHEET PAGE 8

Here’s the big one! Organize and conﬁrm ALL the info you need for your divorce.

You can use this worksheet to complete your divorce forms online through our

DIY Divorce Navigator or pass the worksheet on to an attorney.

SELF-CARE WORKSHEET PAGE 31

More than ever, it is essential that you care for yourself through this process. And

while divorce can be diﬃcult, it is also an opportunity for growth. Harnessing

your strength and positivity, you will get through this and hopefully realize all the

potential within you.

HELLODIVORCE.COM

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Tips to make your divorce

easier and less costly.

You’ve made the decision to get divorced. Now you aren’t sure where to start. Getting

through the divorce doesn’t have to be terrible and costly. After all, you don’t want to

work against each other (so much) so that the things you worked hard to earn during

your marriage are depleted. You’d like to get to a swift, amicable and fair resolution.

Here are 10 tips that will help you obtain those goals:

1. Be patient

Patience is likely going to be your most important and invaluable tool during your divorce. The

divorce process can take some time. Don’t expect things to happen overnight. Take the time you

need to digest what is happening, and make sure to think over your options carefully before making

a decision.

2. Be truthful

Honesty is the best policy, especially when dealing with a divorce. You don’t want to ‘sling mud’ or

try to conceal or alter information that you need to disclose during the divorce process. It will make

everything take much longer, and, in the end, will only cost everyone involved more money.

For example: If you fail to disclose an asset that is later discovered by your spouse, s/he could be

awarded 100% of that asset instead of a 50% community property share. Chances are, if you lie, the

‘players’ (Judge, ex, attorney, legal coach, mediator etc.) will ﬁnd out about it anyhow. Stick to the

truth – it will allow you to obtain the best advice possible, and, in the end, will make for a

smoother process.

3. Be organized

Gather as much documentation related to your divorce as possible. Things like three years of tax

returns, several months of income information, any relevant property information and other

ﬁnancial information will be very valuable to you when it comes time to negotiate and divide your

property and ﬁnances. If you are self-employed, it is important to gather the last three years of

proﬁt and loss statements too. If you were left something from a family member, make sure to

bring documentation proving that it was left to you.

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4. Make a list of

what you want

List them in importance to you. Don’t be

afraid to give up something you don’t

want in exchange for something that you

do want. You may want to meet with a

ﬁnancial planner to get a better sense of

what it is you are working with.

Also, take inventory of what assets and debts you have / what you think you have and get a

list of your monthly expenses together. You will be better equipped to discuss support if you

have a solid idea of your expenses on hand.

5. Be reasonable and ready to compromise

Divorce is stressful, but remember that you need to be reasonable with your expectations. You

aren’t entitled to everything, leaving your ex with nothing. Being reasonable with your expectations

and compromising on things will lessen the animosity and make for a less expensive divorce.

8. Understand your rights

Talk to an independent attorney before attending mediation or starting to negotiate on your own.

Know what you are legally entitled to, and what you aren't. This will ensure that you won’t waste

your time arguing for something you were never going to get in the ﬁrst place, or lose credibility in

the eyes of your ex, mediator or Judge. The same goes for knowing what the other person is or isn’t

entitled to.

6. Don’t try to ‘punish’ the other person

Doing things to intentionally create conﬂict or to instigate a ﬁght will only cost you in the end. You

don’t want to spend more time, energy and money trying to get back at the other person. It’s not

worth it and won’t get you anywhere. Stay in integrity, even if the other person isn’t.

7. Check your feelings at the door

It’s easy to get caught up in the emotional side of the divorce–we are all human after all. Try not to

bring your emotions to your negotiations. If you need someone to talk to, check out your local

therapists, or call your closest friends. Unfortunately, divorces are complicated and the more you

think of it as a ‘business deal’, the better oﬀ you probably will be.

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9. Don’t believe everything everyone else

tells you

Your friends Sally and Rich got divorced 4 years ago. She got everything and Rich got nothing, so

you should expect the same outcome. A lot of friends have advice that they want to give you

about what you should be getting from your divorce. Politely accept, but don’t take it to heart.

Truth is, every single divorce is diﬀerent.

There are diﬀerent facts, issues, assets and circumstances. While your friends or loved ones are

trying to do right when oﬀering advice, chances are it doesn’t apply. Your consulting attorney

and mediator are very capable and know what they are doing. Let them do their jobs.

10. Know your divorce options

A lot of people don't realize that a convenient, affordable online divorce is even an option. Whether

your divorce is contested or not, you must complete the 20+ mandatory forms required for a

California divorce. We recommend saving $1000s and completing them independently or with the

support of a Hello Divorce legal document assistant - you get the same quality and results without

paying high lawyer fees. The reality of it is that you should only hire an attorney for real legal issues,

advice, negotiations - not simple paperwork.

The average divorce is $27k - per person! The average Hello Divorce divorce is $1500 - per couple.

The other major way to save is through mediation. Mediation is a good alternative to litigation. It is

quicker, more comfortable, and far less costly for all involved. During mediation, the two of you will

meet with one person whose goal is to help the two of you reach agreements on issues in your

divorce. They won’t be able to give you advice, but they will be able to help the two of you navigate

the divorce process and resolve things in a fair manner. You won’t have to be at the mercy of the

Court and a Judge to make decisions for you – you will be able to make them together.

There are several things you can do to prepare for Mediation, too:

a. Be a good listener:

Listen closely and carefully during mediation and speak when it is your turn to speak. Don’t

interrupt your ex. Let them have their say, and you will get your chance as well.

b. Choose a great consulting attorney:

Having an attorney to ‘fall back on’ during mediation helps you stay organized and informed.

(These attorneys do not attend mediation with you; rather, they are someone that you can

contact to help ﬁgure out your best and worst case scenarios, gather legal advice, and help

identify legal claims you may be entitled to.) Make sure to interview several diﬀerent

consulting attorneys and choose wisely. They will be a great asset to you during the

negotiation process.

Find out how Hello Divorce can help you to an affordable, hassle free

divorce. CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

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DIVORCED!!!

File Form FL141

Both Parties Prepare Financial

Disclosures and Discovery

Choose Your Adventure

Depending on Your Relationship

with Your Spouse

Petitioner Prepares Financial

Disclosures

Agree or Work on

Agreement

File Judgment, Forms

and Optional Marital

Settlement Agreement

Submit Request for

Default Judgment and

Forms

Lawyer Up

Negotiate Outside

of Court

File Judgment &

Forms

Mediate

Shared Goal of Amicable

Divorce with Outside Help?

Complicated Issues,

Combative Spouse

and/or Cautious?

Shared Goal of

Amicable Divorce?

Spouse Absent or

Uncooperative?

Mediator Prepares

and Files Forms and

Judgment

California Divorce Process Flow Chart

File Petition and Summons and

UCCJEA (For Kids)

Hello Divorce Helps With:

Legal Coaching



DIY Divorce

(Divorce Navigator)

 Resources & Articles

 Flat Fee Legal Help

Did Spouse File Response

within 30 Days?

Serve on Spouse

File Request for Order if

Temporary Orders are Needed

(e.g. Child Custody or Spousal

Support)

Written Agreement or

Court Order

YES NO



C

D

S

R

S

C

File Form FL141

SC R

SC RD

C RD

SC D

SC

RD

SC RD

R

C

R

Litigate

S

C

R

D SC R

SC RD

C RD

D

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable. CLICK HERE for a free strategy session.

7

Hello Divorce

WORKSHEET

THE

You are starting your divorce and from where you stand the road looks long and

likely a bit uncertain. This worksheet will help you create a plan for the road ahead

by organizing and considering the issues you may need to address and resolve in

order to nalize your divorce.

Essential Info

This general information will need to be considered as you work with your spouse to

resolve all of the issues below.

When did you and your spouse get married?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

List you and your spouse’s income from all sources. If you are a W-2 employee, this

answer may be simple. If one parent is self-employed or earns income from other

sources, it may be a bit more complicated.

You:

__________________________________________________________________________

Your spouse:

__________________________________________________________________________

What proportion of your income is derived from earnings and investments, respectively?

You:

Earnings:

_______________________ Investments: _______________________

Your spouse:

Earnings:

_______________________ Investments: _______________________

Do you have children with your spouse?

 No (Skip to Issue #3)

 Yes

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

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Issue #1: Child Custody and Visitation

 Sole legal custody

 Joint legal custody

Will you be requesting sole physical custody or joint physical custody (meaning

signicant periods of time with both parents)?

 Sole legal custody

 Joint legal custody

Are you and your spouse able to work together to make decisions?

 No

 Yes

Are there tools that might help you become better at communicating or making

decisions?

 No

 Yes

 I don't know

Are there issues about the other parent that would justify a request for sole legal

custody? (Need more information about what might warrant such an award of custody?

Hello Divorce oers legal services to help you!)

 No

 Yes

 I don't know

Do you and your spouse parent well with each other?

 No

 Yes

Does it make sense to have a more specic schedule detailed in an enforceable

order or would you prefer more exibility? (If you and your spouse do not parent well

together, a specic schedule detailed in an enforceable order will save time and energy

in the long run.)

 Specic schedule detailed in an enforceable order

 Flexible arrangement

There are two types of custody – legal and physical. Physical custody and visitation

refer to where the children will live. Legal custody addresses who will have the

authority to make decisions regarding the education, health and welfare of

your child(ren).

CLICK HERE for everything you need to know about kids & divorce.

Will you be requesting joint or sole legal custody?

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

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How old are your children?

(The age of the children will inuence how long they may (or may not) be able to

go without seeing the other parent. As children get older, parents often prefer

longer stretches of time with the child (such as an alternating week schedule) but

for young children sometimes a schedule that alternates every couple of days or

provides the non custodial parent with a dinner visit and alternating weekends

works better.)

Children and their ages:

____________________________________________________________

Have you historically been the primary caretaker for your children? (For example, did

you take them to the doctor or dentist; parent/teacher conferences; soccer etc.)

 No

 Yes

Do you or your spouse have another child (or other children) that your child(ren)

have a relationship with?

 No

 Yes

Does your child have any special needs that would impact the schedule?

(For example, maybe transitions are particularly dicult, perhaps one home is closer to

the tutor the child sees two days a week, or maybe he plays baseball on a traveling team

and is gone with the team (and Dad) most weekends.)

Notes:

____________________________________________________________

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

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Do the child or children have a preference on living/visiting arrangements?

 No

 Yes:

Which parent?

_____________________________________

Do both you and your spouse live within a reasonable distance of school and extra-

curricular activities? (If not, a schedule that minimizes commutes and concentrates

time might be preferable.)

 No

 Yes

Do both you and your spouse work? If so, do you both have a regular schedule?

Is there a way to capitalize on one parent’s availability when the other parent is

at work? (For example, if one parent works weekends and the other doesn’t,

it might work well to craft a visitation schedule that assigns weekends to the

non-weekend-working parent and weekdays to the other.)

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Is one household more stable than the other?

 No

 Yes:

Which household?

_________________________________

Are both parents available to ensure participation in extracurricular activities?

 No

 Yes:

Which parent is available?

_________________________

What type of discipline is used at both households?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

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Holidays

You will also need to develop a schedule for sharing holidays. Some families assign

only big holidays (like Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break). Other families

assign all the holidays from three day weekends to 4th of July to Halloween.

Note: You can nd a helpful list of many of the Holidays you might

want to consider on form FL-341(C)

In developing a holiday schedule you might want to consider:

Does one parent celebrate any special holidays with the child or children that the

other parent doesn’t?

 No

 Yes:

Which holidays with which parent?

With you:

____________________________________________________

With your spouse:

____________________________________________________

Are there any religious or holiday traditions that one parent observes that the

other doesn’t?

 No

 Yes:

Which traditions and which parent?

Traditions only you observe:

____________________________________________________

Traditions only your spouse observes:

____________________________________________________

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

14

Are there any holidays or events that are really important to you? (Maybe you have

a huge Christmas Eve family event every year or maybe there is an annual camping

trip on Memorial Day weekend.)

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Issue #2: Child Support

Child support in California is determined using a state mandated calculator.

The amount of support awarded depends on:

• You and your spouse’s incomes (listed in Essential Info, above)

• Length of marriage (listed in Essential Info, above)

• Timesharing

• Other factors

In order to calculate guideline support, you will need to consider:

Timesharing: What percentage of time does each parent spend with the child(ren)?

You:

____________________________________________________________

Your spouse:

____________________________________________________________

Which parent pays for health insurance for the child or children and how much is it?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Which parent pays for child care for the child or children and how much is it? Is

there an agreement for how the cost will be shared?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

CLICK HERE for our convenient child support calculator

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

15

Do either you or your spouse earn bonuses or other non-cash compensation like

stock options? If so, how much have they been in the past and when are they

usually received? Are the bonuses performance based? Have past bonuses been

consistent and regular or more sporadic?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Is there an agreement about how uninsured/uncovered health care costs and

extracurricular activity costs will be shared? What activities do the children

participate in and how much are they? Do any of the children have special medical

needs/expenses that aren’t covered?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

What will each parent’s tax ling status be? (You may need to talk to your tax

professional about this.)

Your tax ling status:

____________________________________________________________

Your spouse’s tax ling status:

____________________________________________________________

Which parent will be entitled to claim the child or children as dependents each year

for tax purposes? Will you each claim one child (if two children)? Will you alternate

years?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Does one parent need to seek work or go back to school for training? How long is

that expected to take and what is the plan?

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

16

Issue #3: Spousal Support

Do you or your spouse need help to maintain your lifestyle (referred to as the

marital standard of living by the Court)? If so, an award of spousal support may be

appropriate. Spousal support is tax deductible to the pay or and taxable as income

by the support recipient.

• You and your spouse’s incomes (listed in Essential Info, above)

• Length of marriage (listed in Essential Info, above)

• Standard of living

• Living expenses

• Other factors

Will you or your spouse be requesting spousal support?

 No

 Yes

Consider:

What was your lifestyle during the marriage? Consider the type of home you owned

or rented, cars you purchased, vacations you took (frequency and cost).

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Is either you or your spouse paying for any of the other’s living expenses?

 No

 Yes:

Who is paying for the other’s living expenses? ___________________

Are both you and your spouse working?

 Yes

 No:

Which one of you is not working?

_________________________

How long does the one of you not working anticipate they

will need to nd employment _____________________________

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

17

Do either you or your spouse need additional education or training in order to

re-enter the workforce?

 No

 Yes:

Which of you?

_____________________________________

Did either you or your spouse take time from the workforce during the marriage to

take care of the home/family?

 No

 Yes:

Which of you?

_____________________________________

Did either you or your spouse earn their degree, certicate, or receive training for

their career during the marriage?

 No

 Yes:

Which of you?

_____________________________________

How much money will you each need to maintain their lifestyle?

You:

_______________________________________________________

Your spouse: ______________________________________________

How much longer do you and your spouse anticipate working?

You:

_______________________________________________________

Your spouse: ______________________________________________

Does either you or your spouse have any health issues that impair their ability

to work?

 No

 Yes:

Which of you?

_____________________________________

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

18

Issue #4: Attorney and Mediator Fees

A judge may require that you or your spouse pay attorney fees and legal costs to

the other party. Even if you don’t end up having to go to court, you might need

the assistance of an attorney to help you with the process, prepare documents or

provide advice. The biggest factor here is whether or not one spouse has greater

access to money (from earnings, asset or credit) to pay for the attorney fees of

both parties.

Do you and your spouse have equal ability to pay? Do you both have equal access

to funds/loans/credit cards?

You:

_______________________________________________________

Your spouse: ______________________________________________

Is your spouse willing to negotiate and/or cooperate?

 Yes

 No:

Explain:

____________________________________________________

Are either you or your spouse frustrating the settlement process?

 No

 Yes:

Explain:

____________________________________________________

What are the living expenses and assets of both you and your spouse?

Your living expenses:

____________________________________________________________

Your spouse’s living expenses:

____________________________________________________________

Your assets:

____________________________________________________________

Your spouse’ assets:

____________________________________________________________

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

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19

Will either you or your spouse leave the marriage with signicantly more assets?

 No

 Yes:

Which party?

______________________________________

Issue #5: Assets and Debt Division

All the assets you and your spouse accumulated and all of the debts that accrued

during marriage are called community property. As part of your divorce, they will

need to be identied and divided. This section will help you think through the assets

and debts you may have and the information you will need to gather.

Do you have a prenuptial agreement or post-nuptial agreement? These agreements

may signicantly impact who property and debts are divided. If yes, state the main

terms of the agreement:

 No

 Yes:

State the main terms of the agreement:

__________________________________________________________

Do you own real property?

 No (Skip to Pensions, IRAs, Retirement, and Employee Benet Accounts Below)

 Yes:

Note: You will need to answer these questions for every piece of real

property you and your spouse own.

How is the property titled? (Whose name is on the grant deed?)

____________________________________________________________

When was the property acquired?

____________________________________________________________

How was the property acquired (inherited, purchased)?

____________________________________________________________

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20

Is the mortgage in one or both parties names?

____________________________________________________________

Has the property been renanced?

 No

 Yes

Where did the down payment come from?

 You or your spouse’s earnings during the marriage?

How much?

________________________________________

Source? ____________________________________________

 Gift from family member(s) or friend(s)?

To both parties or one party alone?

____________________________________________________

 Separate property down payment from either you or

your spouse alone?

How much? ________________________________________

Source? ____________________________________________

Have there been many improvements made to the property?

 No

 Yes:

How were they paid for?

____________________________________________________

Who made those improvements?

____________________________________________________

How much money was invested in those improvements?

____________________________________________________

Who has been making the mortgage payments?

____________________________________________________________

Need help? Legal advice? Hello Divorce can help make your process hassle free and affordable.

CLICK HERE for a Free Strategy Session.

21

Types of Accounts When Opened

Where have the mortgage payments been coming from?

 Payments made from a community account

What account? _____________________________________

 Either you or your spouse’s separate account

What account? _____________________________________

Does either party intend to continue living in the property?

 No

 Yes:

Can that party qualify to renance the property?

 No

 Yes

Will the property be sold?

 No

 Yes:

What, if anything, needs to be done to the property in

order to sell it?

____________________________________________________________

Who will be responsible for maintaining the property

(mortgage, HOA, taxes, repairs) until the divorce is nal?

____________________________________________________________

Pensions, IRAs, Retirement, and Employee Benefit Accounts

What accounts do you have and when were they opened?

1.

_________________________________________ __________________________________________

2. _________________________________________ __________________________________________

3. ________________________________________ __________________________________________

4. ________________________________________ __________________________________________

5. ________________________________________ __________________________________________

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22

Balance at Time of Marriage Balance at Date of Separation/Now

6. ________________________________________ __________________________________________

7. ________________________________________ __________________________________________

8. ________________________________________ __________________________________________

9. ________________________________________ __________________________________________

10. _______________________________________ __________________________________________

What was the balance of those accounts at the time of marriage and at the date of

separation/now?

1.

________________________________________ __________________________________________

2. ________________________________________ __________________________________________