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Leadership Behaviors What to Say My Notes

Clarify purpose of meeting

What I’d like to talk to you about is ….

Acknowledge transferable

skills

Your skills of … will be really helpful.

Acknowledge enthusiasm

and initiative

I appreciate your (share what is appreciated, e.g.,

enthusiasm, initiative, willingness to …).

Dene SMART goals

What I’d like you to do is (list outcomes) … by (add

date).

What a good job looks like is ….

Get Style 1 agreement

(development level

and leadership style)

Since you haven’t done this before, would it be helpful

if I provided you with some direction, resources,

information …?

Clarify performance

tracking

We’ll track your progress by ….

Set priorities

The priority of this goal/task/project is ….

Clarify roles

What you need to do is ….

And here’s what I’ll do to help you ….

Dene boundaries

You can go this far, but then you’ll need to check in

with me ….

Develop a plan to learn

To learn how to do this, ﬁrst you need to ….

Then, you should (specify next steps) ….

Together, we should (clarify mutual actions) ….

Teach/show; provide

direction and examples

Let me show you how to do this.

Here’s an example ….

Be careful not to (share tips, cautions).

Provide information/

resources/solutions

Here’s some information that will be helpful ….

If you need help, you can contact (share name) ….

Here’s how I’d solve that (share advice).

Direct problem solving

Here’s what I’d like you to do to solve this problem

(name problem and give direction).

Provide opportunities to

practice new skills

Try this a few times before we get together (set up

practice).

Provide feedback on how

Here’s what I’ve observed ….

Here’s what I’ve heard ….

Check for understanding

and alignment

So, why don’t you recap/tell me what you’ve heard so I

can make sure I’ve given you the direction you need to

be successful.

Follow through

Let’s set up our next meeting (set meeting date and

time).

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Leadership Behaviors What to Say My Notes

Clarify purpose of meeting

I need to meet with you today to talk about ….

Listen to concerns

How are things going?

What concerns do you have?

How are you feeling?

Clarify SMART goals

Let’s reconﬁrm your goals and how I can help you

achieve them.

Get Style 2 agreement

(development level

and leadership style)

Since you’re still learning, and may be (list feelings),

would it be helpful if I continue to provide you with

some direction? But I’d also like to hear your ideas.

Provide perspective

I think you’ve made progress on … and here is where

you may be struggling ….

Look at how much you’ve already learned and

accomplished ….

Two weeks ago you couldn’t … and now you’re able

to ….

Explore “why” about “what

and how”

Let’s think about why this is important ….

If you accomplish this goal, it will help you and the

organization (share benets).

Let me explain why we do it this way ….

Involve the individual in

problem solving

Where are you stuck?

What have you tried?

What else could you do?

Here are some ideas/next steps that we may want to

consider ….

What are the pros and cons to each alternative we’ve

discussed?

So, we’ve agreed the next steps are ….

Redirect and reteach

Let me show you how ….

Here’s how you might want to look at this ….

Here are some more resources/examples ….

Provide feedback and

coaching

Here’s what I’ve observed …. Is that your experience?

Here are some ideas/next steps …. What do you think?

You may want to spend some time with ….

Provide encouragement

and support

I know you can do this.

I’m conﬁdent you’ll be successful at ….

I know this is harder than you thought it was going to

be. Hang in there.

I’m here to help by (clarify role) ….

Check for understanding

and alignment

So, before we wrap up, let’s review what we’ve

decided. What’s your understanding?

Follow through

Let’s meet again (set date).

I’ll touch base with you about ….

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Leadership Behaviors What to Say My Notes

Clarify purpose of meeting

What do you want to focus on today?

What challenges or concerns do you have?

Listen

Here’s what I heard you say ….

Conrm SMART goals

So, how are things going on your goal (state goal)?

Given your contribution, I’d say we are aligned on your

goal to (reconrm goal) ….

Get Style 3 agreement

(development level

and leadership style)

So, what you need me to do is listen, right?

Would listening be more helpful than advice or

direction?

What is the best way for me to support you?

Facilitate self-reliant

problem solving by

asking questions; let D3

determine how

So, what’s working? What’s not?

How is this impacting your conﬁdence or motivation?

What alternatives do you have?

What are the pros or cons to each alternative?

Which alternative is best?

If you went with that recommendation, what steps

would you need to take?

Listen more

Do you have anything else you want to talk to me

about? Any other concerns?

Can you tell me more about …?

What did you mean when you said …?

Express condence and

encourage

I’m conﬁdent you can or will be able to ….

Look how much you’ve accomplished already ….

Provide help and ideas, if

asked; remove obstacles

to goal accomplishment

Since you’ve asked, here’s an idea …. What do you

think?

What’s getting in your way?

How can I help?

Reect on past successes

Just like last time, you (remind of past successes).

Do you remember when you …?

What positive feedback have you gotten from others?

Acknowledge competence

and contributions

I appreciate ….

Here’s how your work has helped the team ….

What do you think you’ve accomplished or learned?

Support ways to make

goal more interesting and

challenging

What would it take for you to be re-excited about this?

How could we restructure this so that it is more fun?

More challenging? So that you continue to grow and

develop?

Follow through

I’m here to listen ….

Be sure to call me when you need me.

I look forward to hearing what you’re able to

accomplish.

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Conversation Starters

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Leadership Behaviors What to Say My Notes

Clarify purpose of meeting

What would you like to talk about?

Tell me what you are most excited about.

So, how do you think you’re doing on (state goal) …?

Review SMART goals

Can you update me on your goals?

I agree that your goals are (conrm goals).

What would a stretch goal look like?

Get Style 4 agreement

(development level

and leadership style)

I know you’re taking the lead, but I’m here, when and

if you need me.

You know how much I trust you to ….

Draw out and create

visibility for success

What success have you had with …?

What feedback have you been getting?

Who else should know about your success/

contributions?

Encourage creativity and

innovation

What is still exciting for you?

What are you doing to keep your work fresh?

What new ideas have you had about your work?

What new projects interest you?

Support autonomy

Where do you want more inﬂuence?

What would you change?

Support growth

How can I support you?

What do you want to do next?

Provide opportunities to

teach or mentor others

How could you share what you do so successfully?

Who would you like to coach or mentor?

Where else can the organization leverage your

expertise?

Provide additional

resources, if requested

Is there anything I can do to help?

Do you need anything from me to make your work

easier?

Acknowledge

competence,

commitment, and

contribution

We’ve always beneﬁted from (describe contributions).

I so appreciate (describe contributions).

You have made a major contribution by ….

How would you like to be acknowledged for the work

you’ve done?

Take action on D4’s ideas

I trust your judgment on ….

Here’s what I’ll do with what you’ve suggested ….

Follow through

How do we stay in touch?

How do I stay informed?

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Conversation Starters

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